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Plot Written by BOT, on 09-25-2007 19:48 The boys, Kyle, Cartman and Stan (minus Kenny, plus Ike) attend karate class while Stan's dad goes for a couple of drinks. After class, Randy drives the boys home. Randy needs to urinate after the evening of drinking. Randy decides to urinate in a beer bottle, as opposed to stopping on the side of the road. Randy asks Stan to steer while he tries to urinate in a beer bottle. The resulting swerve gets the attention of a police officer, and he gets pulled over for drunk driving. Randy is ordered to attend Alcoholics Anonymous, where he is taught that he is powerless to control his drinking and that alcoholism is a "disease." He does not believe his son, who just tells him that he just has no "disaprin". Randy, who Stan describes as a “hypochondriac,” then begins to, ironically, drink more, since he has decided that he is in fact powerless to control it and cannot stop. Around this time, a statue of the Virgin Mary begins to bleed – out of its anus – and people begin to flock around it to find a cure for their diseases. Randy believes it can heal him of his disease.    Randy has Stan drive him to the church where the statue is, and – after cutting in line, arguing his ‘disease’ is worse than that of others – he is drenched in the holy blood, and then jumps up, declaring he will not drink anymore (ostensibly because the bleeding statue is his "Higher Power"), and abstains from alcohol for five days.    The new Pope Benedict XVI comes to investigate, and discovers that the blood is not actually coming from the statue's anus – but its vagina. Since "chicks bleed out their vaginas all the time," this is no miracle, and Randy, realizing this, suddenly realizes God did not heal him. He at first declares himself powerless again, but then Stan makes him realize that if God did not help him, he must have done it himself. Randy then declares that he will never drink again, but Stan objects to this too, saying that if Randy completely avoids drinking, drinking is still controlling his life, and that true discipline involves figuring out how to live in moderation; nothing, he says, is actually easier than some. The two then walk home, Randy asking Stan how much drinking would be proper.