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14 Woodland Critter Christmas

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First aired: 12/15/2004 Production Code: 814

It's Christmas in South Park once again. This year Stan, the boy with the red poof-ball hat, finds himself helping out a group of adorable critters that live in the forest. They ask him to help protect their pregnant friend, who will give birth to their Lord's son. Everything is going well until Stan learns who these critters worship.

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1 Plot
Written by BOT, on 09-25-2007 19:24
This episode, which like many Christmas shows has an anapestic rhyming narration and story-book style, begins in the forest, where "the boy in a red poof-ball hat" — a.k.a. Stan — discovers a group of talking animals building a Christmas tree. They convince a confused Stan to help make a star for their tree before he goes home. That night, they wake him in his room and explain that one of the animals, a porcupine named Porcupiny, is pregnant with the creatures' Savior. Stan agrees to help them build a manger for the baby. They then enlist his help against another problem: every year, they explain, one of the animals conceives their Savior, but every time a mountain lion kills it before she gives birth to the baby. They insist that Stan is the only one capable of helping them. Exasperated, Stan manages to kill the beast, but discovers with horror that the lion was the mother of three now-orphaned cubs. He is further dismayed when he discovers that the woodland critters are, in fact, Satan worshipers, and that their Savior is actually the Antichrist, not an animalistic Son of God. (The animals point out that this is obvious, because God would never have sex with a porcupine) The animals celebrate by sacrificing Rabbitty the Rabbit and having a "blood orgy," (the pregnant porcupine included).

Stan tries to stop the animals himself, but they rebuff him with their Satanic powers, cheerfully conjuring up fire and demonic beasts. After he learns that only a mountain lion can kill the Antichrist, Stan returns to the mountains to enlist the orphaned cubs, and takes them to an abortion doctor to teach them how to perform abortions (against his will — the narrator forces him to). Meanwhile, the animals are searching for a human host for the Antichrist to possess when born — the person in question must be a non-baptized non-Christian. They discover Kyle, who is Jewish, and kidnap him to serve their purpose.

Stan arrives in time to discover that the Antichrist — a strange, vicious little creature — has already been born, and that his best friend Kyle is tied to a Satanic altar to receive the evil creature. Santa Claus suddenly arrives and, when he finds out what is happening, pulls out an SPAS-12 combat shotgun and slaughters all the creatures. He is about to kill the Antichrist, but Kyle — now free from the altar — declares that he wants the Antichrist to possess him, so that he can make the world better for the Jews. He allows the demon to possess him, and is about to unleash a devastating blow on the world when...

...the story suddenly cuts away to Mr. Garrison's fourth-grade class, where it is revealed that everything that had happened so far in the episode was merely a Christmas-themed story Cartman was reading to the class. Kyle angrily objects to Cartman's story, claiming that it was nothing more than Cartman's attempt to once again mock him and his religion at Christmas time. Mr. Garrison, fearing complaints from Kyle's mother, forces Cartman to stop. The other boys, however, plead with Kyle to let Cartman continue because they want to hear the ending; Kyle objects that the ending is obvious, that Kyle (in the story) will merely be killed by Santa Claus so that Christmas is saved. Cartman says that is not the ending. As the other boys persist, Kyle allows Cartman to continue.

Back in the story, Kyle suddenly declares that he can now feel how evil the Antichrist is and wants it out; Santa, however, says that they have no choice but to kill Kyle, before the Antichrist can consume his soul and unleash his reign of terror. Stan, however, has the mountain lion cubs perform an abortion on Kyle's ass, removing the Antichrist and Santa finally finishes off his nemesis with a sledgehammer. Santa gives Stan a special Christmas wish, which Stan uses to restore the mountain lion he killed to life. They then go home to a happy Christmas.

Cartman ends his story saying that Kyle died of AIDS two weeks later. The episode ends with Kyle's angry objections ("Goddammit, Cartman!").

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2 Goofs
Written by BOT, on 09-25-2007 19:24
When Stan first places the star upon the Critters's manger, it is made entirely out of white paper. Later, the star has yellow points. The star reverts to its original construction afterwards.

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3 Cultural References
Written by BOT, on 09-25-2007 19:24
* When Cartman goes to continue reading his Christmas story, you can hear the book opening sound clip from The Elder Scrolls Series.
* Initially the animals claim Porcupiny was a virgin when the Savior was conceived; later they claim Satan had sex with her to conceive the Antichrist. They also refer to the conception as "immaculate", confusing the Immaculate Conception of Mary with Jesus' Virgin Birth.
* The "blood-red moon" is a reference to Revelation 6:12.
* According to the South Park commentary with Matt Stone and Trey Parker, the blood orgy is a reference to the science fiction film Event Horizon.
* In the blood orgy scene celebrating Porcupiny's pregnancy, the critters sacrifice Rabbitty. This is in reference to a Rabbit Test where after confirming a pregnancy, "the rabbit dies".
* The scene where the mountain lion falls off the cliff resembles a similar scene in Lion King.
* When the animals use their Satanic powers, "Ave Satani" ("Hail Satan," the theme song to The Omen) plays in the background.
* When Santa Claus draws a shotgun and begins firing on the critters, the music of "Adrenaline Horror" from the Half-Life soundtrack plays briefly.
* When Stan is watching TV, "The Jeffersons" theme song is playing.
* The lion being killed and later resurrected is similar to Aslan in The Chronicles of Narnia.

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