Ratings soar when the popular TV show Cop Drama uses the word “sh*t” on national television. The network decides to make further use of the word, resulting in a mysterious plague sweeping the nation. It's up to the boys and Chef to help save the world.

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The boys go to their first night as Cub Scouts, where they discover that Big Gay Al is their troop leader. Al is thrown out of the Scouts when it is acknowledged that he is gay, so he files a lawsuit. The boys come to his defense, with the help of the new “handi-capable” kid, Jimmy; however, both Timmy and Jimmy believe that there is only room for one disabled Cub Scout and they start fighting with each other. Meanwhile, Big Gay Al’s replacement as Scout leader seems like he would be more suited to be a member of NAMBLA.

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The boys discover the “magic” of David Blaine, but Stan finds out that he isn’t all that he seems to be. He tries hard to convince the others that they have been brainwashed. Stan, with help from Jesus and a few of Jesus’ best friends take on Blaine on his followers in a showdown at the nation’s capital.

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After the boys have promised to get Terrance and Phillip to perform at the Earth Day festival being held in town, they find out that the pair has broken up. Now they need to reunite them.

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Cartman inherits one million dollars, which allows him to fulfill the dream of owning his own amusement park that he calls “Cartmanland.” Upon hearing the news of Cartman’s good fortune a hemorrhoid erupts in Kyle’s ass causing him to question the existence of a God who can make someone like Cartman happy.

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The children are subjected to sex education classes after Stan demonstrates some of his “handy” work in front of his parents. The kids are being taught by the unlikely pair of Ms. Choksondik and Mr. Mackey, who because of their own sexual inadequacies leave the girls scared and the boys mis-informed leading to a battle of the sexes.

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The boys get a new video game system and plan to play it for the entire weekend, but their plan is interrupted when they meet Towelie. Towelie is a genetically engineered towel created by the government. When the government finds out the boys know about Towelie, they steal the boy’s game system and oblivious to everything going on around them the boys stop at nothing to get it back.

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In the wake of the terrorist attack on the United States, the boys find themselves accidentally sent to Afghanistan, where they encounter their Afghani counterparts and try to understand why they hate Americans. While they are there they also take on the Taliban and Cartman pits his fat ass against Bin Laden himself.

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Cartman blows his “funny fuse” after he gets Kenny’s “cheeky” school picture printed on the side of milk cartons as a missing child and an unusual couple from Wisconsin comes to town, thinking that the photo might be that of their long lost son.

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Kyle’s cousin comes to town and after Kyle sees how stereotypically Jewish his cousin Kyle is, he worries about how Cartman is going to react when he meets him. Meanwhile, Mr. Garrison invents an alternative form of transportation that requires the rider to use more than just their hands and legs to control it.

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Token combats being the only rich kid in town by getting another rich family to move to South Park and when Will Smith and his family decide they like it there, he calls a few friends and soon the town is swarming with rich folks. Not liking the direction their town is heading, the poor folks of South Park start to fight back.

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Cartman comes into possession of a truckload of fetuses that he can’t sell thanks to a recent government ruling on stem cell research. When Kenny is diagnosed with a terminal illness, Stan has trouble dealing with it, but Cartman uses it to lobby Congress to restore stem cell research.

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Butters finds out what his father has been up to late at night and when his mother hears, she overreacts by trying to kill her son and then herself back at home. After returning home and forgiving her husband, she realizes what she has done to her son (she doesn’t know she failed) they spin a story to the media to cover their tracks. Meanwhile, Butters obsesses with returning home so that he can join his parents for an anniversary dinner at Bennigan’s.

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