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03 Chickenlover
(4 votes)
First aired: 5/27/1998    Production Code: 203

When the town learns that Officer Barbrady is illiterate, he is sent back to school to learn how to read. In the meantime, someone is having sex with the chickens in town. The boys offer Barbrady their assistance. Cartman exerts his "authoritah" while out on patrol, while the other boys help Barbrady learn to read the clues that will identify the chicken lover.

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 1 Plot
Written by BOT, on 09-23-2007 21:45
In this episode, a pervert is molesting chickens in town. When Officer Barbrady starts the investigation, he is confronted with his inability to read. He resigns in shame and anarchy immediately breaks out. Barbrady is put into the boys' class to learn to read. Meanwhile, the "Chickenlover" (as he is euphemistically called, as the adults do not think it would be socially appropriate to call the attacker "Chickenfucker") strikes again. 
 
Officer Barbrady's book report on Go, Dog, Go! gives him an A and he starts to enjoy the school life a little too much. Mayor McDaniels forces him to learn reading more quickly to solve the case. He promotes the four boys to deputies to help him in his task. From then on, Cartman patrols the town on his tricycle, enforcing his own brand of justice and dealing violently with those who fail to respect his "authoritah." Cartman also does a lot of pulling people over and uses the line "Sir could you step out of the car...Sir step out of the car...damnit I am a cop and you will respect my Authoritah!" he then preceeds to hit the person in the shin with a night stick. Meanwhile, Barbrady put some clues together by reading some children's books. When he almost gives up, the boys keep up his spirits. 
 
The molester is finally caught in the petting zoo, who turns out to be the Book Mobile driver. He plotted this all along to encourage Barbrady to learn to read. He gives Barbrady a copy of Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged, which convinces Barbrady that reading "totally sucks ass." In the end, he swears never to read again. It is worth noting that the Book Moblile Drive started molesting chickens before Barbrady admitted that he couldn't read.
 2 Trivia
Written by BOT, on 09-23-2007 21:45
* There is a picture of Tom Wopat in the closing credits. 
* In the scene where Mr. Garrison is teaching Barbrady to read a sentence, there are some shots where the alphabet posted above the chalkboard translates to the phrase, "Oh my God! They killed Kenny! You bastards", in Spanish. 
* This is the first episode in which Cartman demands people "respect ma authoritah!" 
* The fake credits and background music is a parody of The Dukes of Hazzard. 
* Go Dog Go is parodied in season 10 with the two parter; Go God Go and Go God Go XII'.
 3 Quotes
Written by BOT, on 09-23-2007 21:46
(Officer Barbrady, who at the time is illiterate, is given a found note saying "Another Chicken Gets It Tomorrow". He is then asked what it says.) 
 
Officer Barbarady:Um, It says, uh, "Sorry I had sex with the chicken! I won't do it again, bye-bye!" Well, there you have it, case closed!  
 
Officer Barbrady: Yes, at first I was happy to be learning how to read. It seemed exciting and magical, but then I read this: Atlas Shrugged, by Ayn Rand. I read every last word of this garbage, and because of this piece of shit, I am never reading again.  
 
Cartman: AY! I am a cop, and you will respect my authoritah!  
 
Cartman: For my book report, I read The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. It was very very good. Have you read it, Mr. Garrison?  
Mr. Garrison: No, I can't say that I have.  
Cartman: Oh, good. In The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, a bunch of uh, hippies, walk around and paint stuff. They eat lunch, and then they find a magical... camel, which they have to eat to stay alive. And that's pretty much it. I give it a 'B-.'
 
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