Who is Eric Cartman's father? Dr. Mephisto knows, and is just about to reveal the information when he is shot. Meanwhile, Liane Cartman seeks help in high places to see if she can get a retroactive abortion.

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When the town learns that Officer Barbrady is illiterate, he is sent back to school to learn how to read. In the meantime, someone is having sex with the chickens in town. The boys offer Barbrady their assistance. Cartman exerts his "authoritah" while out on patrol, while the other boys help Barbrady learn to read the clues that will identify the chicken lover.

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Ike is going to have his Bris, but when the boys find out just what that actually means, Kyle tries to save his little brother from the ceremony. Meanwhile, Mr. Mackey has lost his job due to a drug problem and falls into a life of drug and alcohol abuse.

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The boys become fascinated with the school nurse when they learn she has a dead fetus attached to her head. Kyle's mother educates the boys on the nurse’s "condition" and then decides the entire town should be educated. Meanwhile, the South Park Cows dodgeball team goes to the state, national and finally the international finals in China.

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When information Stan's Uncle Jimbo and his friend Ned give the boys for a report results in detention, the boys decide they must get revenge. They submit a phony video of the “Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka” to Jimbo & Ned’s cable program. The phony tape turns into a huge hit for the pair, but causes the program Jesus and Pals to take a new direction.

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With their school bus hanging over the edge of a cliff, the boy remember some of their past adventures. Their bus driver Ms. Crabtree goes for help, but along the way takes a detour into a new career. Meanwhile, Mr. Mackey counsels the parents by telling them that all their children have run away.

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It's summer in South Park, but with Colorado's new ban on fireworks, nobody is having fun. Jimbo and Ned go to Mexico, hoping to smuggle fireworks over the border. However, when Jimbo and Ned are busted with their contraband, the town is forced to light the worlds largest snake for South Park's big celebration. Meanwhile, Mr. Twig has gone missing, resulting in Mr. Garrison seeking psychiatric help.

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When a film festival takes over South Park, It's up to Kyle to stop it before the dramatic effect the festival is having on the sewer system kills Mr. Hankey. Kyle's pleading is interpreted by the film festival committee as an idea for a hit movie. However, thanks to one of Chef's "Salty Chocolate Balls", Mr. Hankey is given the strength to fight back against the festival.

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Stan, Kyle, and Cartman are sent to Kenny’s house in order to get chickenpox. When the boys realize the illness was a setup, they hire a prostitute to give their parents herpes. Meanwhile, Kenny and Kyle’s mothers reunite their husbands who were once childhood friends.

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While on a field trip to the planetarium, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny realize they're being brainwashed. Meanwhile, Cartman auditions for a Cheesy Poofs commercial.

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Stan and Kyle build a clubhouse in order to play "Truth or Dare" with Wendy and Bebe. Cartman and Kenny retaliate by building a clubhouse of their own. Meanwhile, Stan’s parents go through a sudden, unexpected separation.

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It’s the annual “Cow Days” festival, but the cows themselves are disinterested in the event as they have become transfixed on a memorial statute. The cows relocate the statue but the town thinks that their two tourists are responsible. Meanwhile the boys want to purchase some Terrance and Phillip dolls and to get the funds they enter Cartman into a bull riding contest; but a freak accident during practice results in Cartman believing that he is a Vietnamese prostitute.

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Chef discovers that a record company is making money off of a song he wrote twenty years ago. The record company decides to sue Chef and for him to have any hope of winning he needs to hire Johnny Cochran. The boys help by rounding up all of Chef’s musician friends and hold a huge concert to raise the 2 million dollars they need for the defense.

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Aunt Flo is making her monthly visit and she has a present for Stan, a fish. The fish freaks Stan out, especially when the dead bodies start piling up. Sharon is convinced her son is responsible for the crimes and she starts hiding the bodies. When Cartman exhibits behavior that is very uncharacteristic for him, the boys discover there are two Cartmans (one good and the other evil) and the gateway to another dimension is found in the local pet store.

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Stan, Kenny and Kyle accompany Cartman and his mother for Christmas with the entire Cartman clan. Cartman’s Uncle Howard and his cellmate Charlie Manson break out of prison and join the festivities.

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Mr. Garrison assigns the boys (along with Tweek) to do a report on a current event in South Park. While trying to find a topic, the boys are distracted by the “Underpants Gnomes” that visit Tweek on a nightly basis. Meanwhile, Tweek’s father runs a gourmet coffee shop that he fears will go out of business when a national coffee chain called Harbucks arrives in South Park.

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After watching The Crocodile Hunter, the boys decide to go searching for crocodiles. However, the boys find a man frozen in ice from the year 1996. When the ice man thaws out, he finds himself alone in a confusing time, being pressured by the government, who wants to use him in their plot against Sweden.

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