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05 A Million Little Fibers

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First aired: 4/19/2006 Production Code: 1005

Towelie writes a book and it gets selected for Oprah’s book club. It becomes a best seller with everyone getting a lot help for their addictions; until a faction of Oprah's staff leak the truth about the book.

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1 Plot
Written by BOT, on 09-27-2007 10:54
In this episode, Towelie gets fired from his newest job at P.F. Chang's at Flatirons Crossing, in Broomfield, Colorado (for constantly being high) and (while high) comes up with the idea to write his own memoirs, which he writes (while high), and submits for publishing; however, the publisher tells him no person would be interested in a towel's story, so Towelie (while high) decides to change the memoirs to be exactly the same, except that he changes the story to make himself a person and takes up the pen name Steven McTowelie. He then goes on The Oprah Winfrey Show, where the host loves and promotes his book. Meanwhile, Oprah's vulva, Mingey — which apparently is imbued with sentience — is depressed that the overworked Oprah never pays attention to him anymore — the persona sounding completely male with an East London accent. Gary, her anus (who speaks with a highly camp voice with a faux Welsh accent, which at times leans towards other British accents including Scottish, Liverpudlian and others), conspires with him to get Oprah fired, so she can pay more attention to them. As Mingey realizes that Towelie is not a person ("a minge knows a towel when they hear one"), they call Geraldo Rivera and give him the information. Subsequently, Towelie is interviewed on Larry King Live, during which Geraldo Rivera calls in from Afghanistan to reveal that the author of the book is a towel.

When the truth comes out, Oprah does not see what the big deal is because people were inspired by the book for how it was written not by whether it is a lie or the truth. But, mobs congregate to protest wildly; Oprah invites Towelie back on the show, saying that he can explain that he wanted to make the book more relevant and easily understandable. However, instead she erupts in anger, calling on the audience to lynch Towelie (at the same time bringing the audience back to her side, thwarting Mingey and Gary's plan). Towelie is cornered at the First National Bank of Chicago, but Mingey — taking sudden and desperate advantage of the opportunity — tears through Oprah's pants with a revolver. Taking hostages, he kills a police officer and begins making demands in preparation for an escape to France (Gary the anus having always wanted to see Paris). Towelie struggles to think of an idea to deliver himself and his fellow hostages to safety, resisting the temptation to get high. He realizes that any stoned idea will only "get him into trouble".

Towelie's solution: using his inherent flatness, Towelie slips into the bank and allows the hostages to enter through the previously locked doors. The hostages being cleared from the area, police snipers open fire on Oprah's nether region and accidentally hit Gary instead of Mingey. Seeing his only friend slain and his hopes shattered, Mingey turns the gun towards himself and joins the departed Gary. Oprah is rushed to the hospital, with police informing Towelie and the hostages that Oprah will be fine — though the same cannot be said for either her anus or vulva and vagina. Towelie learns not to get high for ideas, but to use drugs as a reward after he comes up with them.

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2 References to Pop Culture
Written by BOT, on 09-27-2007 10:55
* P.F. Chang's is an actual restaurant chain, based in Scottsdale, Arizona.
* The members of Oprah's studio audience receive torches under their seats to help them participate in the lynching of Towelie. Normally, Oprah's guests (and audience members at many other daytime talk shows) receive gifts like DVDs, CDs, and books, and are told to find said items under their seats.
* The publishers in the episodes are named Porcupine Press and Arbitrary House, plays on the publishers Penguin Books and Random House, respectively. Towelie's hotel is called the Marryot, a pun on the hotel chain Marriott.
* There's a "High Moments" poster in Towelie's room, with plants pictures in it. It's a parody of Tom Forcade's High Times, a magazine about drug consumption, mainly marijuana.

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3 Trivia
Written by BOT, on 09-27-2007 10:55
* In the Latin American dub Oprah's "Puchi" -as it says itself- (Spanish translation-like for Va Jay-Jay) and her anus (called "culo" [ass]) have a Spain accent and it says Spanish profanities.

* According to the DVD commentary, this episode was originally their "bank episode" (an episode which has parts of it animated before they start doing episodes the same week it airs; they will then return to this episode later in the run; "banking an episode" allows the staff to have one or two days off during the run), and intended to be a spoof of the TV show Intervention with the people of South Park trying to get Towelie into rehab. About halfway into making it, they decided it didn't work too well and it couldn't go anywhere, so they started from the beginning. They also discuss the "Hat on Top of a Hat" scenario to describe the "weirdness" of the episode, saying that when you put a hat on, and then you put a hat on top of the first hat, "you just end up looking like an idiot" (weirdness on top of weirdness replacing the hats).

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